Networking often gets a bad rap. It can feel fake, forced, or even manipulative. But what if it doesn’t have to be that way? What if networking could actually feel good? What if it could lead to genuine relationships, deep conversations, and meaningful opportunities?

That’s what I’ve learned over the years, networking once gave me social anxiety but has become a core part of how I’ve built my business and some of my most valued friendships. I used to struggle with social anxiety and felt awkward talking to people I didn’t know. But when I got involved in network marketing and began sharing a product I genuinely believed in, I had to step out of my comfort zone. I cared so much about what I was doing, it pushed me to connect with people, even strangers at the grocery store. At first, my face turned red, my hands were sweaty, and my voice shook. But I kept practicing. Over time, it got easier.

Here’s the truth: networking isn’t about selling, it’s about connecting. It’s not small talk or being fake; it’s about making people feel seen and heard. Start with simplicity:

Compliment a stranger. 

Smile. 

Ask a question. 

Make someone’s day a little brighter.

Everyone is walking around with an invisible sign that says, “See me. Hear me. Make me feel important.” When we genuinely try to connect, it’s powerful.

A simple way to start conversations is the FORM method:

• Family
  • Do: If you notice they have kids, you can ask about their grade, what they’re involved in, etc. You can also ask about their pets if they have them.
  • Don’t do: Ask them if they want kids, are planning to have kids, or tell them they should have kids.

• Occupation
  • Do: Ask what they do, what they like about it, why they got started…
  • Don’t do: Ask about workplace gossip.

• Recreation
  • Do: Ask what they like to do in their free time and ask questions so you can learn more about it.
  • Don’t do: Judge their recreational activities or try to “one-up” them that yours is better.

• Motivation
  • Do: Ask why they are here (at an event), and what they are hoping to gain from the event.
  • Don’t do: Here again, don’t judge their response, try to one-up them, or embellish your successes and why you are at the event.

Ask people about these topics and truly listen to their answers. You’ll be surprised how quickly a surface-level conversation can turn into something deeper.

One thing I do at events is scan the room and ask myself: Who would I actually want to be friends with? I observe how people treat others, especially those who aren’t the leaders of the event like servers or staff. That tells me everything I need to know.

I also look for kindness and confidence, not perfection. If someone seems real, I want to get to know them. When I find someone who seems like a good fit? I take action by starting the conversation. I do not wait for other people to strike up a conversation with me first.

Follow up within 24 hours. This is crucial! Don’t wait. A simple text saying “It was so great meeting you” goes a long way. And if the connection feels right, schedule a time to meet again. In network marketing, we called it BAMFAM, Book a Meeting From a Meeting. It helps keep the momentum going.

Pro tip: After you meet someone, jot down notes about your conversation. That way, you can follow up with something personal and meaningful.

I believe the best networking is mutually beneficial. It’s not about keeping score, but it is about giving and receiving value. If the relationship feels one-sided or transactional, I usually step away. But when it’s built on trust, kindness, and curiosity, it can be truly transformative.

Like anything, networking is something you can get better at with practice. You get to decide how it looks in your life and business. For me, I want networking to be about connection, collaboration, and community. I want to walk away from events with new friends, not just business cards.

Some of the best opportunities in my life came through networking, often when I wasn’t even trying. Like when a regular customer at the restaurant where I worked passed along my resume and helped me land a teaching interview during a competitive hiring season. (Yes, I got the job.) I wasn’t “networking.” I was building relationships. That’s what made the difference.

If you need numbers to understand the importance of networking, here they are:

• 85% of jobs are filled through networking (LinkedIn, 2016)
• 70% of people experience social anxiety at networking events (American Psychological Association)

So if networking feels uncomfortable, you’re not alone. It’s also worth pushing through because the payoff can be big.

Networking doesn’t have to be cold or calculated. It can be warm, intentional, and even fun. Practice saying hi. Compliment someone. Ask them about their story. Most of all, be the kind of person you’d want to network with.

Whether it leads to a business deal or just a great new friend, connection is always worth it.

At the end of the day, we’re not just building businesses, we’re building lives. I want to look back on my life and say, “That was a good one.”